I swear they speak English here. I swear I speak English. And yet... we still have problems.

At the grocery...
Me to the guy behind the butcher counter: Do you have lamb?
Him: Wha?
Me: Lamb
Him: Confused look
Me: um...baby sheep?
Him: Go ask her (pointing to another employee at the end of the counter)
Me: Do you have lamb?
Her: What?
Me: lamb, um, baby sheep?
Her: Oh yes! (walks with purpose away from the meat section)
Me: um, no, it's meat. Lamb.
Her: baby sheets? (gesturing laying a baby down on a blanket)
Me: No, meat, like mutton?
She pulls out a pen for me to write with, and I write l-a-m-b
Her: No. No have.
So she knew exactly what it was when I wrote it? How should I have pronounced it?

At the kopi drink stall...
Me: I'll have watermelon orange juice and barley water.
Him: juice, here. Water (points to other end of the counter)
Me: Barley Water
Her: (picks up a water bottle)?
Me: No. Barley.
Her: Wha?
Me: Barley
Him: Wha?
Me: Barley... barley... [points to sign on the counter that says "Homemade Barley"]
Her: Bali?
Me: Barley
Her: [correcting my pronunciation] Baaaa liiiiii
Me: [Bali is an island in Indonesia, lady.] Barley
Her: No have baaaa liiii
Me: Fine, no barley. [Returns to the table where Kyle has our dinner]
Kyle: What just happened?
Me: They are out of barley water and I think the lady at the drink stall and I are in a fight.